“In a real sense all life is interrelated. All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the inter-related structure of reality.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
The news of Ahmaud Arbery’s murder angers and grieves me. It is difficult to wrap my brain around the fact that things like this have happened, and are happening. That racism and discrimination are still prevalent in our country today. Privilege and implicit bias are alive and well, whether we’re willing to recognize it or not.
As someone who cares deeply about justice and believes with my whole heart the inherent value of every human being, I find myself paralyzed by this internal conflict that’s hard to explain. On the one hand, I am encouraged by the outrage depicted on social media, and how so many are demanding justice. Leaders I didn’t expect to engage in this conversation have shared the news of Ahmaud’s death, using their voices and platforms to shine light on an issue that has been infecting our country for centuries. I am grateful they have made the choice to speak out, and hope they will continue to do so.
On the other hand, acknowledging my own somewhat jaded perspective of social media, I am concerned. I am concerned that this cry for justice will just be a fad. That this rallying cry will soon fade as the news cycle changes. That many will find simply posting about this horrendous crime will be enough as they go about their day without any further investigation into this injustice that has devastated our communities, or taking time for self-reflection to identify how their privilege or biases are allowing such injustices to persist. That choice to engage or not, by the way, is the definition of privilege…
And so, I am conflicted. Struggling to know what to say or how to respond. As a white person, who has spent countless hours trying to learn and grow in understanding these issues and realities, I acknowledge there is so much I don’t know by way of my privilege and experiences as a member of the majority culture. No amount of reading or listening to the stories of Black and Brown people will ever allow me to fully understand and realize the depths of their experiences of racism, prejudice, and discrimination. Therefore, I do not want to use my words flippantly or reactively. I strive to engage in conversation and action from a place of humility, empathy, and courage.
The tension comes from not wanting to be perceived as a “white savior” because no part of me ever wants to be associated with that phrase. I continually ask the Spirit to search and know my heart and motives. Acknowledging at the end of the day, I cannot control how people perceive me, but I can control whether or not I am obedient to the Lord to the best of my ability. I am accountable for myself - my thoughts, words, and actions, and how I choose to steward and invest them. In such a time as this, I have the choice to show up and lean into the chaos, discomfort, and heartache, or I can walk away, perhaps paying lip-service in acknowledging injustice for the sake of self-gratification as the cost of entering the fight seems too great.
I chose to show up and lean in.f
I’ll be the first to admit I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t know all the right words to say or what this looks like exactly, but I am committed to learning. To coming alongside my brothers and sisters in whatever ways I can. I know I will stumble and make mistakes, but I so fiercely believe in the love of Christ to redeem and His hope set before us. I believe His Kingdom will reign on earth as it is in heaven here and now.
To my Black and Brown friends (and to those I have yet to meet), I know there is nothing I can say or do to away the pain, the anger, and the heartache you are experiencing and have experienced. I know I do not fully understand the depths of what this feels like, not just when a tragedy like this happens, but every single day of your life. Words seem so small in moments such as these, yet I offer them with all of my heart - I grieve with you. I am outraged with you. I confess the times I have taken advantage of my privilege or let my biases override thoughts and actions. I know there is so much more work in my heart that needs to be done, and I am committed to doing it. I am committed to standing with you and fighting alongside you in pursuing God’s justice and building His Kingdom.